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Episodes
Episodes
May 19, 2026
May 19, 2026
35 min
I sat down with Victoria Byler, LPCC, owner of Revive Counseling, for a conversation that feels especially important right now. We dive into men, masculinity, and what it actually means to show up emotionally in a world that often teaches men to shut parts of themselves down.
We talk about how shame shapes male identity, why vulnerability can feel so threatening, and what therapy looks like when men are finally given permission to feel instead of perform. This episode explores the pressures men face, the misconceptions around masculinity, and how emotional connection is not a weakness but growth.
Whether you are a man trying to understand yourself better, someone who loves a man, or a clinician wanting deeper insight into working with male clients, this conversation opens the door to curiosity, compassion, and honest reflection.
May 15, 2026
May 15, 2026
4 min
This episode might feel like a bit of a bait and switch, but stick with me.
Your friends are great. They love you, support you, hype you up, and probably have way too many stories about your past that they love bringing up at the worst times. There is real connection there, and a lot of vulnerability.
But here is the question we are exploring today, should they be your go to source for advice about sex and relationships?
In this episode, we unpack how all of us were raised in a sex negative culture and how that shapes the advice we give and receive. Just because someone is confident or experienced does not mean they are informed. A lot of what gets passed around as “advice” is actually rooted in hurt, bias, or a few past experiences that turned into rigid rules.
This is not about cutting your friends out. It is about getting more intentional with whose voice you give authority to when it comes to your body, your boundaries, and your relationships.
We talk about how to stay grounded in your own values, how to get curious about where advice is coming from, and how to move away from inherited scripts so you can build something that actually works for you.
Resources
If you’re looking for a high-quality lubricant that actually enhances the experience instead of distracting from it, I’ve got you covered.
When you use that link, you’ll receive a Free Überlube Sachet added to your order (U.S. only).
Using the link also helps support the podcast, so it’s a win-win.
Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10
A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here
Sign up for my online class here
You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube!
Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube
Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!
May 12, 2026
May 12, 2026
6 min
Today’s episode dives into one of the most misunderstood and emotionally charged topics I get asked about all the time, sex addiction.
Or maybe more accurately, what people think sex addiction is.
We are breaking down why the term is not officially recognized in the DSM-5, what clinicians actually look for when someone feels out of control, and why frequency alone is not the right question to be asking.
If you have ever wondered, “Am I addicted to porn?” or “Is something wrong with me for thinking about sex this much?” this episode is for you.
We explore the difference between behavior and function, how shame plays a massive role in how people interpret their sexuality, and why labeling something as an addiction can sometimes shut down curiosity instead of creating understanding.
This is not about minimizing struggle. There are absolutely people who feel stuck in patterns that feel compulsive and distressing. But the goal is not to pathologize sexuality. The goal is to understand it.
If you are questioning your relationship with sex, this episode will help you slow things down, get curious, and start asking better questions.
You are not broken. You are human.
Resources
If you’re looking for a high-quality lubricant that actually enhances the experience instead of distracting from it, I’ve got you covered.
When you use that link, you’ll receive a Free Überlube Sachet added to your order (U.S. only).
Using the link also helps support the podcast, so it’s a win-win.
Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10
A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here
Sign up for my online class here
You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube!
Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube
Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!
May 5, 2026
May 5, 2026
9 min
Today’s episode is a fun one. I am answering listener questions that range from how I got started as a sex therapist all the way to the bold question, why do men suck. We get into what I actually love about this work, including why spreading sex positivity continues to be at the core of everything I do, even with all the different roles that come with running a private practice.
I also share a bit about my path into the field, from early experiences to burnout and eventually finding my way into sex therapy through AASECT. We talk about frustrations in the field, both the real ones like billing and the bigger cultural challenges around how we view sex, relationships, and autonomy. There is also a deeper conversation about the messaging boys grow up with and how that shapes men, relationships, and emotional connection.
To wrap it up, I answer a really relatable question about feeling frustrated when a partner is always on their phone and what might actually be underneath that feeling. As always, this episode is about curiosity, reflection, and building more awareness in our relationships.
If you want to submit a question for a future episode, head over to sexhereandnow.com/home and ask away.
Resources
If you’re looking for a high-quality lubricant that actually enhances the experience instead of distracting from it, I’ve got you covered.
When you use that link, you’ll receive a Free Überlube Sachet added to your order (U.S. only).
Using the link also helps support the podcast, so it’s a win-win.
Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10
A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here
Sign up for my online class here
You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube!
Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube
Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!
May 1, 2026
May 1, 2026
7 min
In this episode of Sex, Here & Now, Matt dives into a topic that still makes a lot of people uncomfortable to even think about, pegging. Not just what it is, but why so many people are curious about it and what that curiosity actually means.
This is not about pressure or pushing anyone to try something they are not interested in. This is about understanding your body, challenging outdated ideas about masculinity, and learning how to have honest conversations about sex with your partner. Matt walks through where this curiosity comes from, why it has nothing to do with sexual orientation, and how to explore it in a way that feels safe, grounded, and connected.
If you have ever been curious but nervous to bring it up, or if you are trying to better understand your partner, this episode is for you.
If you’re looking for a high-quality lubricant that actually enhances the experience instead of distracting from it, I’ve got you covered.
When you use that link, you’ll receive a Free Überlube Sachet added to your order (U.S. only).
Using the link also helps support the podcast, so it’s a win-win.
Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10
A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here
Sign up for my online class here
You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube!
Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube
Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!
Apr 28, 2026
Apr 21, 2026
Apr 21, 2026
39 min
On this episode of Sex, Here & Now, I sit down with my colleague and friend Julie Labanz for a conversation that feels both overdue and incredibly necessary. We dive into the lasting impact of purity culture and how so many of us are still untangling the messages we absorbed about sex, worth, shame, and “goodness.” Even if you did not grow up in a religious household, purity culture has shaped the air we breathe. It influences how we talk about bodies, how we experience desire, and how we respond to pleasure. Julie and I explore how these early scripts follow people into adulthood and into their relationships, often without them even realizing it.
From there, we shift into a topic that shows up in almost every long term partnership: desire discrepancy. What happens when one partner wants sex more often than the other? How do we talk about it without turning it into a scoreboard? We unpack the myths that tell us mismatched desire means something is broken and instead offer a more grounded, compassionate framework. This episode is honest, practical, and rooted in the work we both do every day with clients. If you have ever struggled with shame around sex or felt confused by shifting levels of desire in your relationship, this conversation is for you. As always, stay curious.
Apr 17, 2026
Apr 17, 2026
3 min
We talk a lot about how relationships change over time, and they do. Life gets busy, routines take over, and before you know it, you are not really dating anymore… you are just coexisting.
In this episode of Matt’s Musings, I talk about why that shift matters more than people realize.
Dating is not just something you do at the beginning of a relationship. It is what creates energy, curiosity, and connection over time. When dating fades, many couples start to feel disconnected, not because something is “wrong,” but because the relationship has stopped being intentional.
I break down how small, consistent moments of attention can bring relationships back to life. This is not about grand gestures or expensive plans. It is about presence, playfulness, and choosing each other again and again.
If your relationship has been feeling a little stale or distant, this episode is a reminder to go back to what creates connection in the first place.
Because when you stop dating, you stop discovering. And the couples who stay connected are the ones who never stop choosing each other.
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe and rate the podcast. You can also find more sex positive content on YouTube at Cleveland Sex Therapy.
Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10
A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here
Sign up for my online class here
You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube!
Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube
Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!
Apr 14, 2026
Apr 14, 2026
12 min
When sex starts to feel distant, tense, or nonexistent, it is easy to panic and assume something is broken. In this episode, Matt slows things down and walks you through what to actually look at when your sex life feels off. From stress, burnout, and self disconnection to relationship dynamics, communication breakdowns, and the unrealistic expectations we are taught about desire, this conversation reframes sexual struggle as information, not failure.
You will hear why sex fading is normal, not a sign your relationship is doomed, how to reconnect with your own desire before trying to fix partnered sex, and why skills like vulnerability, sexual check ins, flirting, and even scheduling intimacy are not unsexy but essential. Matt also challenges the idea that sex should be effortless and reminds listeners that intimacy in long term relationships is learned, practiced, and revisited over time.
This episode is for anyone feeling disconnected, anxious, or stuck around sex and intimacy and wanting a grounded, shame free way forward that actually works.
New episodes drop weekly!
Apr 10, 2026
Apr 10, 2026
5 min
There is this quiet belief that going to relationship counseling means something is wrong. That if you and your partner are “good,” you should be able to figure everything out on your own.
In this episode of Matt’s Musings, I challenge that idea.
Being open to relationship counseling is not about failure, it is about intention. It is about choosing to invest in your relationship before things fall apart, not after. We talk about why so many couples wait too long, how most of us were never actually taught how to be in relationships, and why counseling can be a space to unlearn what is not working and build something that actually fits.
I also get into one of the biggest shifts I see in strong couples. They do not wait for crisis. They get curious early. They want to understand their patterns, improve communication, and create a relationship that feels safe, flexible, and real.
If you have ever hesitated about therapy, or wondered if your relationship is “bad enough” to go, this episode is for you.
Counseling is not the last resort. It is a resource.
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe and rate the podcast. You can also find more sex positive content on YouTube at Cleveland Sex Therapy.
Stay curious.
Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10
A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here
Sign up for my online class here
You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube!
Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube
Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!